You've got to be joking! #1

Some lame jokes that hopefully will keep you entertained for a while
~Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your wife improve her appearance?
Man: It did for a while- then it fell off.
~My sister is so dumb she thinks that a cartoon is a song you sing in the car.
That's nothing, my sister thinks that a juggernaut is an empty beer mug.
~Boy: What's the biggest any in the world?
Girl: My Aunt Fatima
Boy: No, it's an elephant
Girl: You obviously haven't met my Aunt Fatima

~Witch: Have you ever seen someone who looked like me before?
Girl: yes, but I had to pay admission
~A man walked into a police station and said, "I've got 3 big brothers and we all live in the same room. My eldest brother has 7 cats. Another has 3 dogs, and the 3rd has a goat. I want to do something about the smell."
"Are there any windows in your room" asked the officer.
"Yes of course there are!" said the man.
"Have you tried opening them?"
"What, and lose all my pigeons?"

~"Doctor, doctor, I've just swallowed the film from my camera."
"Well, let's hope nothing develops."